Had to run over to one of the big home improvement stores on Saturday morning to rent a tool. There were a few dozen cars in the parking lot, but for a decent Saturday morning in the Springtime it was practically deserted. Inside, the folks doing various product demos were begging the few customers to stop at their displays, and the cashiers were standing aorund chatting with each other. When I left and got back on the highway, I noticed that traffic heading in the opposite direction was backed-up for over a mile. My first thought: thank Heaven, I must have just missed whatever it was that was causing the backup.
So what was the reason, and why does it matter? Well, I saw some temporary signs by the side of the highway: "Gun Show - 10-6 Saturday". The venue was accessed from the same exit as the home improvement store. That explained the unusual traffic.
When I returned my rental tool in the early afternoon the traffic had abated, but the store was nearly as deserted. Welcome to Act II Scene I of Obama's America. The great American pastime of "D.i.Y" goes neglected in the stagnant economy, meanwhile the citizenry rush to arm themselves to the teeth. Draw your own conclusions...
25 March 2013
21 March 2013
EXCLUSIVE FROM THE ARCHLAIC: A Confidential Interview with Cardinal Balony
The Archlaic was at Logan Airport the other evening and stopped at one of the licensed establishments for a pint; as he looked for a table he noticed a man sitting alone, wearing a black clerical suit with a hint of a chain showing diagonally inside the jacket. The cleric, who was sipping a glass of white wine and reading a paperback novel by Andrew Greeley, looked vaguely familiar... then The Archlaic recognized him: Cardinal Balony himself!
Realizing the unique and providential opportunity presented by this chance encounter, His Magnitude sprang into action:
THE ARCHLAIC: Sure, if it isn't Cardinal Balony himself, in the flesh as it were! Eminence, what brings you to our fair city?
CDL. BALONY: That rat - I mean Archbishop Gomez, didn't want me to go, and by the time I got a reservation first class was full on all the nonstop flights, so now I'm stuck here on thie 3-hour layover. Seems like an eternity... hey. wait a minute, who are you and what do you want?
THE ARCHLAIC: Forgive me, Eminence; I'm the Archlaic of North Carver and...
CDL. BALONY: Archlaic of what? (looks suspiciously at the collar of The Archlaic's black turteneck) What are you, some kind of subdeacon or something? I thought Vatican II did away with all that...
THE ARCHLAIC: (laughs) Ah, Eminence, Archbishop Weakloins always said you had a great sense of humor! So tell me, what do you think of the new pope?
CDL. BALONY: Well since you asked, it was one of the great experiences of my life to be able to be a part of a conclave for the second time, and to elect another pope.
THE ARCHLAIC: But what do you think of him so far?
CDL. BALONY: Did you see his shoes? Plain black ones, not those red Pradas like Ratz... er, Benedict wore. Paul VI got rid of all that medieval foofery you know, but if Ratz had been there any longer he's have brought back the sedia and the ostrich plumes!
THE ARCHLAIC: But Pope Francis...
CDL. BALONY: That's what I'm talking about, we need to show we care about the poor. This pre-Conciliar high church stuff puts people off, modern men - people - can't relate to it, it's like the Queen of England, nobody pays any attention to any of that stuff.
THE ARCHLAIC: But didn't Pope Benedict believe that beauty in the liturgy brought people to God?
CDL. BALONY: Oh. you're one of those? Should have known... Archlaic, eh? Well I'll tell you, while Ratzinger was running the inquisition and writing his little books I was dealing with real problems of real people. I have the largest archdiocese in the world you know, and we don't do any of that silly stuff. My Cathedral was the first one built according to the blueprint of Vatican II, noble simplicity and so forth...
THE ARCHLAIC: I thought Los Angles was the largest in the United States, not in the world. I think Mexico City is...
CDL. BALONY: Well that's only because our undocumented workers are in the shadows, they're afraid Bush is going to deport them. If we counted them L.A. would be the biggest. We probably have more Mexicans than Mexico City anyway, and they're all Catholic. And that's another thing, Pope Francis is Hispanic, he speaks Spanish, él puede hablar con los hombres y mujeres modernos en su propio idioma just like me. And he's humble, did you see his shoes? Really low church!
THE ARCHLAIC: Eminence, I'm a bit confused about your references to "high" and "low" church. Those are protestant terms, and they don't really seem to be appropriate points of reference to the Catholic liturgical ceremonies...
CDL. BALONY: There you have it - ceremony! When we do liturgy in my church there's none of that, that, ceremonialism! Just plain, simple Catholic Christians gathered around a humble table to eat the Supper of the Lord.
THE ARCHLAIC: But Eminence, what's un-ceremonial about liturgical dancers, rock bands, and gaggles of laypeople milling around in the sanctuary? And you built a $150 million cathedral when you already had one, is that what you mean by "low church"?
CDL. BALONY: That old wreck was about to fall down, one more good earthquake and it would have fallen like the walls of Jericho; and it would have cost a lot more than $150 million to retrofit it for earthquakes and Vatican II! And incidentally it was more like $190 million, all given by the People of God in Los Angeles. I designed it myself...
THE ARCHLAIC: Yes, Eminence, but why do you think that "simple" and "noble" and even "humble" exclude "beauty"?
CDL. BALONY: Hey, did you hear that announcement? Didn't she say "Now boarding first-class passengers for American flight 007 to L.A.”? I've got to run! Nice talking to you and I'll pray for your intentions...
Realizing the unique and providential opportunity presented by this chance encounter, His Magnitude sprang into action:
THE ARCHLAIC: Sure, if it isn't Cardinal Balony himself, in the flesh as it were! Eminence, what brings you to our fair city?
CDL. BALONY: That rat - I mean Archbishop Gomez, didn't want me to go, and by the time I got a reservation first class was full on all the nonstop flights, so now I'm stuck here on thie 3-hour layover. Seems like an eternity... hey. wait a minute, who are you and what do you want?
THE ARCHLAIC: Forgive me, Eminence; I'm the Archlaic of North Carver and...
CDL. BALONY: Archlaic of what? (looks suspiciously at the collar of The Archlaic's black turteneck) What are you, some kind of subdeacon or something? I thought Vatican II did away with all that...
THE ARCHLAIC: (laughs) Ah, Eminence, Archbishop Weakloins always said you had a great sense of humor! So tell me, what do you think of the new pope?
CDL. BALONY: Well since you asked, it was one of the great experiences of my life to be able to be a part of a conclave for the second time, and to elect another pope.
THE ARCHLAIC: But what do you think of him so far?
CDL. BALONY: Did you see his shoes? Plain black ones, not those red Pradas like Ratz... er, Benedict wore. Paul VI got rid of all that medieval foofery you know, but if Ratz had been there any longer he's have brought back the sedia and the ostrich plumes!
THE ARCHLAIC: But Pope Francis...
CDL. BALONY: That's what I'm talking about, we need to show we care about the poor. This pre-Conciliar high church stuff puts people off, modern men - people - can't relate to it, it's like the Queen of England, nobody pays any attention to any of that stuff.
THE ARCHLAIC: But didn't Pope Benedict believe that beauty in the liturgy brought people to God?
CDL. BALONY: Oh. you're one of those? Should have known... Archlaic, eh? Well I'll tell you, while Ratzinger was running the inquisition and writing his little books I was dealing with real problems of real people. I have the largest archdiocese in the world you know, and we don't do any of that silly stuff. My Cathedral was the first one built according to the blueprint of Vatican II, noble simplicity and so forth...
THE ARCHLAIC: I thought Los Angles was the largest in the United States, not in the world. I think Mexico City is...
CDL. BALONY: Well that's only because our undocumented workers are in the shadows, they're afraid Bush is going to deport them. If we counted them L.A. would be the biggest. We probably have more Mexicans than Mexico City anyway, and they're all Catholic. And that's another thing, Pope Francis is Hispanic, he speaks Spanish, él puede hablar con los hombres y mujeres modernos en su propio idioma just like me. And he's humble, did you see his shoes? Really low church!
THE ARCHLAIC: Eminence, I'm a bit confused about your references to "high" and "low" church. Those are protestant terms, and they don't really seem to be appropriate points of reference to the Catholic liturgical ceremonies...
CDL. BALONY: There you have it - ceremony! When we do liturgy in my church there's none of that, that, ceremonialism! Just plain, simple Catholic Christians gathered around a humble table to eat the Supper of the Lord.
THE ARCHLAIC: But Eminence, what's un-ceremonial about liturgical dancers, rock bands, and gaggles of laypeople milling around in the sanctuary? And you built a $150 million cathedral when you already had one, is that what you mean by "low church"?
CDL. BALONY: That old wreck was about to fall down, one more good earthquake and it would have fallen like the walls of Jericho; and it would have cost a lot more than $150 million to retrofit it for earthquakes and Vatican II! And incidentally it was more like $190 million, all given by the People of God in Los Angeles. I designed it myself...
THE ARCHLAIC: Yes, Eminence, but why do you think that "simple" and "noble" and even "humble" exclude "beauty"?
CDL. BALONY: Hey, did you hear that announcement? Didn't she say "Now boarding first-class passengers for American flight 007 to L.A.”? I've got to run! Nice talking to you and I'll pray for your intentions...
18 March 2013
A New Beginning? Let's Chill a Bit...
I keep saying that I need to find time to tend to the blog, but entries have been few and far between for the past year or more. The abdication of Pope Benedict and the election of Pope Francis have prompted many thoughts and I find myself feeling compelled to rejoin the fray at this time.
One concern is the nearly immediate polarization of opinion toward Pope Francis although he has yet to sit on the Throne of Peter for even a week. On one hand are many of the modernists in the Church and their counterparts amongst arbiters of the popular culture, some of whom have thus far been perfervid in their sentiments. The likes of Donna Brazile are seen on television gushing over 'The Pope of the Poor' while the disgraced but apparently shameless Cardinal Mahony breathlessly twitters away like a lovesick bobby-soxer about the color of the Pope's shoes(!) and kvells about "moving from HIGH Church to LOW and humble Church"! (No word from Cardinal Balony as to whether his $150,000,000+ cathedral or his liturgical dancers are what he means by "Low Church"... but then again I've always wondered whether the man was actually a protestant so perhaps it's only natural for him to use such language.)
At the other extreme are two unlikely bedfellows - the secular left whose fantasies about their ideal pope (who'd probably take the name "Libertine I") have been shattered by the fact that yet again the Catholic Church has elected a pope that is Catholic; and the 'traditionalists' who believe they've seen nothing but ill omens in every liturgical and quasi-liturgical action of the past 5-1/2 days.
Herewith a few quick thoughts:
- Liberals/modernists who are curently singing paeans to Pope Francis will find cause to come down out of the clouds before too long. Once the bloom is off the rose they will treat him the same way they treated Papa Ratzinger - with scorn and derision.
- For people who claim that their beliefs and positions are based upon 'science', 'reason', 'logic', etc. the secular left certainly engages in a lot of unscientific, unreasonable, and illogical thinking - one might even call it 'blind faith' - in expecting a pope to suddenly change the Church's teachings.
- Pope Francis is not going to undo what Pope Benedict has done juridically, and if he tries there will be one heck of a row. That is not what he needs. Even if perchance he is at heart a polyester-poncho-wearing inculturated low-church Mahonyite whose papal liturgies make JPII's look like Tridentine Masses he is not going to "repeal" Summorum Pontificum.
- Granted, the ars celebrandi of the reigning pope does have a great deal of value as an example to the Church. Funny, we complained about B16: "he doesn't decree, all he does is 'lead by example'" but surely his 'style' gave many a priest both an ideal to follow and some 'cover' against his critics: "I'm just doing what the Pope does". My one specific fear is that a reversion to a 1970's Bugnini/Piero Marini style of papal liturgies will embolden the opponents of the liturgical renewal who will then be able to claim: "now you're not doing what the pope does".
- The "inaugural" Mass of Pope Francis is tomorrow. All of us will learn more about what to expect in this pontificate. Let us wait and see, trust in God, and meanwhile use the remainder of Lent fruitfully. I know one thing for sure: the Holy Father needs our prayers!
One concern is the nearly immediate polarization of opinion toward Pope Francis although he has yet to sit on the Throne of Peter for even a week. On one hand are many of the modernists in the Church and their counterparts amongst arbiters of the popular culture, some of whom have thus far been perfervid in their sentiments. The likes of Donna Brazile are seen on television gushing over 'The Pope of the Poor' while the disgraced but apparently shameless Cardinal Mahony breathlessly twitters away like a lovesick bobby-soxer about the color of the Pope's shoes(!) and kvells about "moving from HIGH Church to LOW and humble Church"! (No word from Cardinal Balony as to whether his $150,000,000+ cathedral or his liturgical dancers are what he means by "Low Church"... but then again I've always wondered whether the man was actually a protestant so perhaps it's only natural for him to use such language.)
At the other extreme are two unlikely bedfellows - the secular left whose fantasies about their ideal pope (who'd probably take the name "Libertine I") have been shattered by the fact that yet again the Catholic Church has elected a pope that is Catholic; and the 'traditionalists' who believe they've seen nothing but ill omens in every liturgical and quasi-liturgical action of the past 5-1/2 days.
Herewith a few quick thoughts:
- Liberals/modernists who are curently singing paeans to Pope Francis will find cause to come down out of the clouds before too long. Once the bloom is off the rose they will treat him the same way they treated Papa Ratzinger - with scorn and derision.
- For people who claim that their beliefs and positions are based upon 'science', 'reason', 'logic', etc. the secular left certainly engages in a lot of unscientific, unreasonable, and illogical thinking - one might even call it 'blind faith' - in expecting a pope to suddenly change the Church's teachings.
- Pope Francis is not going to undo what Pope Benedict has done juridically, and if he tries there will be one heck of a row. That is not what he needs. Even if perchance he is at heart a polyester-poncho-wearing inculturated low-church Mahonyite whose papal liturgies make JPII's look like Tridentine Masses he is not going to "repeal" Summorum Pontificum.
- Granted, the ars celebrandi of the reigning pope does have a great deal of value as an example to the Church. Funny, we complained about B16: "he doesn't decree, all he does is 'lead by example'" but surely his 'style' gave many a priest both an ideal to follow and some 'cover' against his critics: "I'm just doing what the Pope does". My one specific fear is that a reversion to a 1970's Bugnini/Piero Marini style of papal liturgies will embolden the opponents of the liturgical renewal who will then be able to claim: "now you're not doing what the pope does".
- The "inaugural" Mass of Pope Francis is tomorrow. All of us will learn more about what to expect in this pontificate. Let us wait and see, trust in God, and meanwhile use the remainder of Lent fruitfully. I know one thing for sure: the Holy Father needs our prayers!
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